Farewells and New Beginnings

Written by Sandra Olarte-Hayes, LCSW, Interim Executive Director

Change is exciting and change is oftentimes difficult. I love this team. I love what we are about and I love what this practice stands for in our community. I also love the ways in which I’ve been able to grow and learn and what I’ve accomplished here both as the Director of Equity and as the Interim Executive Director these past 6 months.

If it sounds as though I’m gearing up to share something difficult and to say goodbye, then you’re right. Tomorrow is my last day with Colors of Austin Counseling and this will be my last post. Announcing this feels incredibly bittersweet. The last year has come with many changes and realizations for me, particularly changes in my family’s structure. Becoming the mother to children with significant trauma means that my family needs more of me. They need more of my attention and more of my time. Needs that I didn’t originally anticipate have emerged and I’ve written pretty openly about that here. It feels good to make a choice that is right for my family and to grow into new roles and possibilities in my life, and yet I will miss this team so much.

This practice has gone through many changes and evolutions since I joined the team 2.5 years ago. We have grown. We have shrunk. We have launched programs and partnerships that helped us better meet our community’s needs and we returned to providing in-person services. I launched this monthly blog. I’ve learned a lot from my teammates and become a better therapist. I’ve also learned a great deal about leadership and about what matters to me. 6 months ago, Vanessa trusted me with her practice so she could take a true 6-month maternity leave and really step away to be with her family. At the time, I was nervous but in the time since, I’ve learned a lot about the leader and the person I want to be in this role. I’ve gotten better at being direct, at having hard conversations, at making difficult decisions in service of what matters to our practice and our team. I’ve also learned how to listen better, focus on the bigger picture, and how to trust my teammates.

This blog has been an important part of my growth. Through writing here, I’ve gotten comfortable with sharing more of myself with my clients. I’ve written here about events in my life that were very painful, things that years ago I would never have shared publicly. I’ve also learned how incredibly vulnerable it can feel to have your story out in the public eye and have come to have a newfound respect for what activists and creative culture workers do on a daily basis. I’ve also learned not to sweat the small stuff. When I first started this blog, my posts would take me weeks to create. I would write, edit, re-edit, and even make my partner edit etc. I felt anxious about the possibility of a grammatical error or looking dumb. Now, I still edit but I mostly let things flow. I’m grateful for this opportunity, and for each private message I’ve received about what I’ve written, both from my team and from you, my community.

I’ll still be around. I am grateful to continue to partner with Colors of Austin Counseling moving forward in our work with some of our community partners. Our whole team knows that they can keep me on speed dial. While I do feel sadness and ambivalence with this transition, I am proud to continue to collaborate with this amazing team and am grateful for the time I got to be a part of it. I look forward to witnessing what this practice continues to do in our community and feel so much gratitude for the gifts I’ve received in my time here.