What Does It Mean to Be Present?

What Does It Mean to Be Present?

Written by Maria Gregg, MSW, LCSW, EMDR

Words can be wonderfully complex, and "present" is a perfect example—functioning as an adjective, noun, and verb all at once. During the holiday season, we're familiar with presents: those tangible gifts we exchange. Yet a true gift is something offered freely, often without expectation of return. While I appreciate material presents, they can sometimes feel transactional and fleeting. A gift without meaning is just another object. What if the most valuable present is actually our presence—the quality of our attention when we truly connect with others?

Consider how our brains are time-traveling machines. We constantly drift away from the current moment—backwards into a landscape of regret and loss, or forwards into territories of anxiety and anticipated threats. These mental journeys are guided by narratives we unconsciously construct about past experiences and potential futures. Often, we're not even aware of how these internal stories create autopilot patterns in our relationships, preventing us from experiencing the richness of now.

Mindfulness offers a pathway back to the present. In "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," Dan Harris defines it beautifully: the ability to observe our thoughts without being swept away by them. As we cultivate mindfulness, we expand our capacity for genuine attention. Before social gatherings, I recommend simple grounding practices—engaging your five senses, then practicing deliberate, paced breathing. This creates a crucial space between stimulus and response, allowing us to choose how we show up.

Being truly present is an act of profound respect. It means seeing others completely—not as projections of our needs, past wounds, or current frustrations, but as whole, autonomous beings. When we stop treating people as objects or means to an end, we open the door to real connection. Mutuality emerges when we say, through our full attention, "I see you—not who I want you to be, or what I need from you, but who you are right now."

Sometimes the most radical act is simply to pay attention—to ourselves and to others. In a world of constant distraction, presence becomes a gift more meaningful than any wrapped package. It's an invitation to truly meet each other, to recognize our shared humanity in this moment.

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Maria Gregg is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of Texas. She received her Master’s of Social Work in 2005 and has worked in various roles within the field of mental health and social work the past 20 years. Maria is certified in Somatic Attachment EMDR and uses Internal Family Systems and Acceptance Commitment Therapy in her approach.

Mindful Living: Prioritizing Your Needs in Busy Seasons

Mindful Living: Prioritizing Your Needs in Busy Seasons

Written by: Alyssa Ray, LCSW

As the summer months have been in full swing, I have felt the weight of nonstop plans, summer projects, vacations, and time with family. The summer months can be full of fun and exciting adventures, but can also lead to a sense of overwhelment and exhaustion. So how do we balance all of our summer plans while keeping ourselves grounded and centered? This is where the idea of mindful living can be crucial. For me, mindful living consists of four main components: awareness, intentionality, gratitude, and sustainability. 

When thinking about awareness in the terms of mindful living, I like to think about it in two ways: awareness of the here and now and self-awareness. Awareness of the here and now is all about being present in the moment you are in. It can be hard when we are busy to not think about the next thing we have planned or the tasks we want to accomplish and that is where self-awareness is important. When we are able to practice self-awareness we can get a sense of what our minds and bodies need in that moment in order to stay present. Practicing compassionate self-awareness is allowing yourself to tune into your thinking patterns and body sensations in a nonjudgmental way. It allows you to meet yourself with curiosity and self-acceptance. The more aware we are of our environments and ourselves the more we are able to recognize when we are feeling centered versus dysregulated.

Once we are able to recognize when our minds and bodies are no longer centered, we can incorporate daily practices to help us become grounded. When we are intentional with how we spend our time and give our energy, we can live in a way that fosters calmness and connection. When thinking about mindful living, we need both awareness and intentionality. Intentionality without awareness can lead us to frustration if we are not attuned to what our bodies and minds need in a given moment. Intentionality moves us from awareness to action. It empowers us to use the information we gleaned from tuning into ourselves and our environments to make deliberate decisions about how to spend our time in a way that will honor our mind and body’s needs. When thinking about mindful living, intentionality is about creating balance in your life. During busy seasons it can feel very difficult to incorporate intentional slowness in your time because there can be a pull to “go, go, go.” I know for myself I have to be very intentional about planning moments of stillness into my day in order to keep myself centered during the busy summer months. 

One way I am intentional about keeping myself centered is by practicing gratitude. Practicing gratitude as a part of mindful living has many benefits. A daily gratitude practice has been shown to decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety, help build deeper connections, and lead to more positive outlooks on life. Gratitude can also help us to be more present and increase our awareness. A daily gratitude practice can look as simple as naming five things you are thankful for each morning. Just this small act can lead to a more mindful life and help us stay grounded among the business of our summers.

The last component of mindful living is sustainability. Sustainability is the reason we practice awareness, intentionality, and gratitude. It can be helpful to think in terms of sustainability when we are tuning into ourselves and practicing self-awareness. When we think about the busy summer months it helps to be mindful of our capacity. I know for myself it can be easy to start planning all these activities and I don’t stop to think about how filling my schedule with activities is not sustainable for me. The more self-aware I am, the more I will be able to know at that moment that I do not have capacity for what I may have planned. I can then be intentional about giving my mind and body what it needs in order to sustain my lifestyle. It can be helpful to think about what you are going to intentionally incorporate in your life to sustain you during busy seasons. 

Mindful living is all about knowing your needs and prioritizing them in the midst of business. I know that in some seasons it can feel nearly impossible to prioritize your needs. Whether it is because you have kids who are out of school during the summer and you now are responsible for entertaining them, you are working a demanding job, you’re being pulled multiple directions by different summer plans, or a different stressful situation; prioritizing your needs will allow you to be more grounded and centered. Prioritizing mindful living will allow you to be more connected to those around you and to yourself. As it is about time to transition into the new school year, I hope we can encourage each other in our journeys of mindful living.

Embracing Diversity and Intersectionality in BIPOC Mental Health: A Path to Resilience

Embracing Diversity and Intersectionality in BIPOC Mental Health: A Path to Resilience

Written by: Vanessa Newton, LCSW-S, Owner of COAC

At Colors of Austin Counseling, we are dedicated to fostering a therapeutic environment that celebrates our unique experiences, acknowledges the challenges faced by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) communities, and empowers individuals through the process of storytelling, connection and developing a sense of belonging to oneself first. Our commitment to these values is rooted in the belief that every person, regardless of their background, deserves access to compassionate, culturally competent mental health care.

Healing in the Therapy Room for Communities of Color

Diversity in therapy goes beyond recognizing differences in race, ethnicity, and culture. It encompasses a broad spectrum of identities, including gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, religion, and more. Each of these factors contributes to an individual's unique experience and perspective and our team of clinicians strive to create a safe and inclusive space where all clients feel seen, heard, and respected.

Celebrating diversity in the therapy room means acknowledging the systemic inequities that affect mental health. For instance, BIPOC individuals often face racial discrimination, cultural stigmas, and socio-economic challenges that can exacerbate mental health issues. By understanding these factors, our therapists are better equipped to provide empathetic and effective support. Beyond that, we understand that healing is not linear and does not only happen in the therapy room. It happens over the dinner table, in community, at the library and so on. It’s important to acknowledge that the act of developing a sense of belonging must extend into the spaces that you frequent allowing you practice courage and vulnerability. 

We support that process. We honor that process and if that doesn’t exist for you yet, we will help you in creating it.

The Importance of BIPOC Mental Health

Mental health within BIPOC communities requires particular attention to historical and ongoing injustices. Disparities in access to mental health care, cultural stigmas, and a lack of culturally competent providers contribute to these challenges. At Colors of Austin Counseling, we recognize the importance of addressing these barriers and advocating for mental health equity.

Intersectionality in Therapy

Intersectionality is a critical framework in understanding how overlapping identities—such as race, gender, sexuality, and class—interact to shape an individual’s experiences and challenges. This concept, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, helps us recognize that the struggles faced by individuals are not just additive but intersecting, creating unique and complex dynamics.

In therapeutic practice, applying an intersectional lens means:

• Holistic Assessment: Taking into account the various facets of a client’s identity to understand how they collectively impact mental health.

• Personalized Treatment: Developing individualized treatment plans that address the specific needs arising from a client’s intersecting identities.

• Advocacy: Empowering clients to navigate systems of oppression and advocating for broader societal changes that promote equality and justice.

Building Resilience

Resilience is the ability to adapt and thrive despite adversity. For BIPOC individuals, resilience often involves navigating systemic barriers and societal prejudices while maintaining mental and emotional well-being. At Colors of Austin Counseling, we believe in fostering resilience through:

• Strength-Based Approaches: Highlighting and building upon clients' inherent strengths and coping strategies.

• Cultural Affirmation: Validating clients' cultural identities and experiences as sources of strength and pride.

• Community Support: Encouraging the development of supportive networks within and outside of therapy, including family, friends, and community resources.

By embracing diversity, integrating an intersectional approach, and fostering resilience, Colors of Austin Counseling is committed to providing exceptional mental health care that honors the rich tapestry of human experiences. We believe that through understanding, compassion, and empowerment, every individual can achieve mental well-being and lead a fulfilling life.

For more information on our services or to schedule an appointment, please visit our contact page or email us directly at connect@colorsofaustincounseling.com. Together, we can navigate the path to healing and growth.

5 Steps To Enhance Your Relationship

5 Steps To Enhance Your Relationship

Written by Julie Walder, LPC

It’s happened, your relationship has officially gone from HOT, to NOT. It happens… to everyone. Relationships take work, especially the longer you are in one. For some, you don’t see the decline for years but for others you see the decline 6 months in. Relationships are different from person to person, culture to culture but one thing is the same, they all have their ups and downs. Once you are officially out of the “pink cloud” phase of the relationship, reality sets in and the real work starts. Don’t be scared, I’ve got a few tips to help you out.

Step 1: GET TO KNOW THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU

How well do you really know the person in front of you? When we are in the “pink cloud” phase, we have tons of happy chemicals in our brain that sometimes cloud everything else around us. All we can think about is how happy and in-love we are. We don’t want anything to ruin those feelings… why would we?! But the reality is that often those feelings of joy and excitement blur the rest of the relationship. You need to understand your partner’s inner world to really understand the person in front of you. Learning about your partner’s inner world will make your partner feel like you are truly interested in who they are which can be a great way to enhance feelings of connection.

Questions to ask your partner can be anything personal such as: “Hey Honey, what music group/artist are you into right now?”; “Babe, what is your favorite childhood memory?”; “Love, what are your hopes and dreams?” “What are your top 5 favorite movies?” “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?” WARNING! If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, don’t be surprised if your partner’s answers have changed. Over time our preferences, likes and dislikes change. That is why is it so important to ask personal questions like the ones above. Try to make it a point to get to know your partner again and again. You can ask these questions every few months, to once a year, but don’t wait too long. If you are having a difficult time thinking of questions to ask, I suggest downloading the Gottman Card Decks from the Gottman Institute onto your phone. The app is free and has every question you can think of!

Step 2: USE THE INFORMATION TO THE BENEFIT OF YOU AND YOUR PARTNER

Okay, now that you know the person in front of you, the next step is to take action! Your partner just told you personal information that you can use to plan for future dates, gifts, and trips. Using the questions in Step 1 as an example: plan a date night with the new information. Play your partner’s favorite music group during a meal together. Make a meal (take out is fine) based on the part of the world your partner would love to live. Plan a date where all you do is watch your partner’s favorite movies. The point here is that you are making an effort! Not only did you make an effort to understand who your partner is, but you listened to them and put their words into action. Imagine how your partner must feel now. 😊

Step 3: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS

So your partner works 50 hours a week and you work 60 hours a week. Or, you and your partner work, have 2 kids, and a dog. In today’s society, we are busy every minute of the day. This often leads to relationships having decreased communication. One day, you might get an hour of time with your partner, another day you get 5 minutes. Or you might feel like two ships passing in the night. However long you get to communicate, talk with your partner… MAKE IT COUNT! Take advice from Don Miguel Ruiz’s ‘4 agreements’,  “Be impeccable with your words.”

Whether the only mode of communicating at that moment is through text, or just sitting on the couch, make every word count. Make sure you convey honesty and integrity. It is a difficult concept to consider on a daily basis, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. And don’t get down on yourself if you slip up, you’re only human.

Step 4: COMPLIMENT, COMPLIMENT, COMPLIMENT

When was the last time you gave your partner a compliment? When was the last time you told your partner you appreciated something they did? This step goes hand in hand with Step #3. Find time to compliment or praise your partner. Over time and as our schedules get busier, compliments start go out the window. Giving a compliment takes 5 seconds. “Your hair looks great today!”; “Dinner was delicious!”; “You have a beautiful smile." You can even take it one step forward and tell your partner something you appreciate. “I really appreciate it when you watched the kids this morning so I can sleep in." It feels good to receive compliments and appreciations. You are acknowledging something personal and/or something positive they did. It helps boosts self-esteem in your partner and the relationship.

Step 5:  THE COUPLE THAT PLAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER

Couples need to have play time. It is so important to have fun, be silly, have adventure, and play. It keeps the relationship alive and helps you connect with your partner even more. If you followed the steps above, you should have a really good idea what your partner considers fun. Now that you know your partner’s interest, match it up with an interest of yours because if you plan an outing to a heavy metal concert when your partner likes classical music, chances are he/she is not going to have fun. If you are having a hard time thinking of something, look to the past… reenact your first date, replicate a day trip you took to wine country. What ever it may be, make sure you do it as often as you feel is necessary to keep the relationship fun and playful.

I'd love to hear what happens when you try one or all of these steps. Please share! 

Warmly, 

Julie 

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Signs Your Teen May Be Struggling

Signs Your Teen May Be Struggling

As a parent, I can't imagine how hard it is to always recognize when your teen is struggling. The parents I work with often shame themselves for "not catching it sooner." They say, "I had no idea she/he was having a hard time until she asked me to take her to see someone." My response usually is, "I'm so glad she asked and I'm so glad you listened."

The truth is you aren't always going to know. You will do the best you can and you will do what you can. Our job is to be curious, to ask questions and to believe them. 

There are signs you can look out for (see below) that will help guide you to dig deeper into possible changes within your teen. 

They flat out tell you they are struggling. 

Nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. Most teens find it difficult to reach out for help and they find it even more difficult to admit that they are not feeling well emotionally. A big reason why this happens is because there are so many outside forces that make it difficult for them to trust others and vulnerability can feel more excruciating than suffering in silence. So, when they finally muster up the courage to share, we should listen, empathize and believe them. 

They keep declining outings with friends and family. 

Teens can find it difficult to be around others when they are not feeling emotionally well. They avoid their friends and family because they are anxious that others will pick up on their sadness and "ask too many questions." This can look like hiding out in their room all night and weekend, not wanting to join the family for dinner, choosing to do homework instead of socializing or connecting with friends and they may even spend most of their free time sleeping. 

They start to miss a lot of school and the reasons are unexplained such as, "I'm tired. My head hurts. I feel sick. I just need a day off, I'll go tomorrow." 

Now, your teen may legitimately be sick in which case they should be seen by a physician. However, if they are finding reasons why they can't go to school more often than not, it is likely that something else is going on. The reasons why teens avoid school can vary greatly from avoiding a test because they haven't studied, feeling too stressed and overwhelmed because of academic pressure, maybe they are being bullied, difficulty in romantic relationships and/or friendships, etc. 

There are clear changes in eating and sleeping habits. 

Some teens may suddenly exhibit insomnia and have difficulty getting to sleep and staying asleep. It's also true that some teens may sleep far more than usual. If there are sudden changes in their activity level then this may also be a sign that something else is going on. Some examples include; they are slow to move, they are feeling lethargic and are expressing being tired frequently even though they are sleeping a whole lot.

Their plans for the future have changed dramatically in a short amount of time. 

This tends to happen with older teens who are getting close to graduation. If your teen has been talking a lot about their plans after high school and they have expressed excitement, hope and motivation but then all of a sudden have no desire to do anything after high school and "just want to take a break," this can be concerning. Decreased motivation, a loss of hope over the future and a low sense of agency are all red flags to be aware of. 

They are expressing irritability, anger or hostility more frequently. 

Teens tend to feel very discouraged and they can develop an unusually negative attitude when there is a decline in their emotional health. This is usually because they are feeling guilty, worthless or hopeless. It often happens that they become very moody, agitated and irritable over the littlest things. Maybe you ask them a simple question like, "how was your day?" and they respond by either shutting down or yelling at you for simply asking the question in the first place. 

If you suspect any of these signs and/or others you are aware of, bring up your concerns in a loving, non-judgmental way. It is possible that you're unsure if depression is the issue and even so, the signs you are seeing are troublesome and should be addressed.

Start by opening up a dialogue with your teen and let them know what specific symptoms you are noticing in them and why they worry you. Be sure to ask your teen to share what he or she is going through if they feel safe enough to do so. Be ready to listen. It can be tough to sit and listen knowing there isn't anything you can do to fix it right away. These things take time. Do your best and hold back from asking a lot of questions if they are not ready to divulge information. Do make it clear that you are ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.

Lastly, please know that there are a variety of mental health professionals in your local communities that are available to help. Some great resources for finding support are Psychology Today, the Integral Care 24/7 Crisis Hotline, 2-1-1 Texas and you can even contact us here at Colors of Austin Counseling for more resources and support. 

You are not alone. We are here to help. 

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